A few pictures of my favorite guys!

My Boys!!


Micah!


Loving the hat!


We worked hard on those teeth!

22 weeks

Hi week 22. Baby moves a lot...love it! We've been throwing around names...none sound great...we will probably take a while coming up with one. Sometimes I think about what he'll look like...I hope he has olive skin and dark hazel eyes like Dusty. I drank a Starbucks coffee frappuccino this week which is amazing because coffee has sounded awful throughout this pregnancy (and my last). It didn't spark my normal, non-pregnant coffee euphoria but I drank it.
Dusty works a lot...which has been making me wish I could get to Iowa to visit family. Soooo...if anybody would like to purchase me a plane ticket or drive Micah and I to Iowa let me know ;).

21 Weeks

Hello 21 weeks. I haven't done the usual weekly 'research' about baby this week which is pretty odd since I'm usually obsessed with everything about the baby. I guess at this point I just figure it's growing. I started wearing real preggo pants this week...bought a pair of capris that have that big stupid thing that is supposed to go over the belly but just slides down mine. At least they're comfy...even if they're falling off.
I'm not doing a picture this week because I feel 'as big as a barn' as my grandma Wilma would say (about herself pregnant, not me). I've been feeling self conscious about being at the top of the weight gain chart for my height and weight at my last appointment. I'm nervous to get bigger than when I was pregnant with Micah...I only have 13lbs left to gain if I want to stay within that range. (Scream...why can't I just get over it?? Why can't I enjoy being pregnant and eating food and not comparing...especially if this is the last one...grr)
We looked at apartments on Saturday on the east side of Columbus...closer to Dusty's job and family. I think we found some we like. It's a 2 bedroom townhouse with a bathroom upstairs AND downstairs (YAY for the pregnant lady!). I am sad that it doesn't have a patio or any personal space outside...I guess we'll just be going to parks and not grilling. Hopefully this will only be for a year...then we can look for a house where we will be paying much less and have a backyard!
Church is another issue with moving. Since Dusty works nights it seems like the best option would be to find a Saturday night church. These are few and far between close to where we want to move. I really hope we can find a church that we can both go to on the weekend and ideally there would be a small group we could both go to as well. I am also hoping to find mom groups/women groups through church and just in the community so that I have more motivation to go out and be with people. I don't want to be stuck at home with two little ones 24/7...I'd go crazy!
Micah has been a handful this week...I'll blame those sharp teeth that have been growing in for the last couple of months...he runs around trying to eat his hands and grumpin. He fell out of his crib this week also...makes me a neurotic baby checker when I put him down for naps and bedtime.
Ok. That's all.

Half way...

Yesterday was the big 20 week checkup (it feels better to clarify that I was 20 weeks and 3 days)...anyways, Dusty got up during the middle of his normal sleeping time to come with me and we dropped Micah off at his friend Eli's house (happy Micah!!). So we went in for our ultrasound. Everything seemed much blurrier than any of our ultrasounds with Micah so I really couldn't see anything. She made us wait clear till the end to tell us what we were having...and it was, of course, a BOY!
I am very excited to be having a boy. I think Micah and his brother will be good playmates and hopefully pretty close since they're fairly close in age. I feel generally more comfortable thinking about raising boys too and its also pretty nice that we already have almost everything we'll need for the new baby.
I have been thinking the last couple of days is that I am a little less sure about wanting to be done having kids. I'm conflicted...I'm curious about what it would be like to have a girl in our family but I really didn't want to be pregnant again or...have more 1st years...(they're just not my favorite). And then you never know if the next baby will be a boy or girl...although I don't think I'd mind 3 boys at all and I'd know for sure we were done either way (although I said that this time).
So one reason I wanted to find out what we were having was so that I could either get rid of our boy things or go through them because we have so much. I tried to go through Micah's baby clothes today and I did get them organized but they are so stinkin cute and I couldn't get rid of any. Its fun to have options even if we don't need all the clothes. I can always get rid of them later.
Micah is oblivious to everything going on. I wish I could help him understand but he just doesn't. He's definitely in for a surprise in December!
That's all for now. Hurry up December!

Boy or girl?

Tomorrow is the big day! I have an ultrasound at 9:30am. I'm prayingggg that Dusty gets off work super early and can sleep enough so he can come to the ultrasound. Otherwise I'll have the tech write down what we are having so we can find out together later in the day when Dusty gets up.
I'm excited but also a little nervous. I think I'd be really happy either way, but I wonder if actually finding out will make me realize that I really did have a preference and was just being dishonest with myself about it.
Boy...
For as long as babies have been in my brain I have thought I wanted all boys. Strongly wanted all boys...Maybe it is because I had brothers growing up and I always loved hanging out with them and playing with them. I remember as I got older being more and more confused by girls...the emotions, the cattiness, the hair and makeup...I just didn't get it. I didn't get myself and I figured if I had a girl she'd end up the same. I fear a girl picking up on my insecurities and having them herself...I think to be a mom of a girl you have to be really strong...
Girl...
I've always felt like I never quite 'got it'...as far as the girly things in life. I figured that if I had a girl she would end up weird like me...confused about fashion and insecure about herself...all those things I don't want to pass on. Anyways, since I got pregnant this time my whole heart has changed about having a girl. I think I see it more as an opportunity to be open and teach her some of the things I didn't learn when I was young...and maybe I'd learn how to dress her cute and she wouldn't end up so akward like me. I also think it would be awesome to see Dusty with a daughter. And if this is our last baby I think I would always wonder what it would be like to have a girl.

Well, I've probably thought about this way too much...but these things don't happen often on one's lifetime so I think it's ok. We'll see what tomorrow brings...

20 weeks

Whew...it seems like it has taken forever but I'm finally at the half way mark! I've been feeling good lately...more energy and less sickness. We find out what we are having on Wednesday but I don't think Dusty will make the ultrasound so I think I will have the technician write it down and put it in an envelope so we can find out together.

Right now we are thinking about moving to be closer to Dusty's new job. We're trying to figure out what kind of apartment would be best for having 2 young kids. I worry about the babies being in the same room and waking each other up...but I've never had 2 kids so I have no idea what that looks like or if that would even be a problem.

Alright, I think that's all for now...

TMI...you probably shouldn't read this.

My 'week 19' post was one of few words. I've learned that sometimes rather than gripe about how awful I'm feeling it's best to say nothing. Anyways, I was driving home from the library where Micah and I had 'lap time' and thinking about how huge I was getting and questioning for the 1,000th time why I was gaining weight in my legs...and on and on and then something popped into my head. I thought about what a blessing my babies are to me. I thought about my life and the journey I've been on...through teen years filled with hospitalizations for an eating disorder, to the physical complications brought on by that, to the doctors telling me that it would be almost impossible to have children. I thought about finding out I was pregnant with Micah and wondering how it was possible without having...ahem, cycles. I had a miserable pregnancy with him...often in my own mind thinking about my body. And then I found out I was pregnant again...without any 'warning'...and the same fears and anxieties came up again. This time though I had a very wise woman in my life who gave me a new perspective. My whole mind had been caught up in the bad things about pregnancy and the selfish things about my body. She reminded me what a huge miracle it was that I was even pregnant, that it was a gift from God (not a horrible, body destroying, money sucking, 18 year problem)...it HAD to be a gift from God because there is no other explanation for my pregnancies. And so for a few minutes today I felt overwhelmingly blessed by God for this new baby and for Micah and wasn't consumed with worries about my body.
I guess that it is really hard for me to be pregnant because of my insecurities but I really do love that God has given me Micah and another baby. I definitely do not spend all of my time moping, but I have my moments...maybe more and deeper than the average person but I really do love being a mommy. I think I'm writing this all to say that God is really really working in my heart through this. I am obviously 'messed up' in this area but I am thankful that he walks next to me regardless of all of that. I can only see him continuing to teach me and humbling me, and growing me into the mommy he wants me to be.
...my pride and joy...haha

Week 19!

Growing, growing, growing...

Mom's visit

My mom drove from Iowa to Columbus on Monday to visit for a couple of days. We had a great time! Micah got a lot of attention from his grandma and Dusty and I got TWO dates in two days!! The help was nice for me...I got to shower for more than one minute without my son stuffing toilet paper in the vents and Dusty and I got to hang out alone, shop, and have some real, uninterrupted conversations while my mom (totally loving it) stayed with Micah. Mom, Micah and I went to the mall a couple of times so he could play in the play area and we did a lot of chillin' at home. I loved to see Mom and Micah both loving to hang out with each other and getting some quality time playing. I wish that we could visit each other more often!!
Here are some pictures from the week...


Me and Micah


I only am posting this picture to show the position I've been in for basically the last four and a half months...


Giving Micah the sugar fix of his life....he would have probably downed the entire shake without breathing once if we had let him:).


Micah's glamor shot


We got Micah a chair and he loved it...he plopped right down with his blanket, giraffe, and book...


Micah at his favorite place in the mall...waving...I've never. ever. seen a child wave as much as he does...


us!


Me and mom.